What to do, and not - when writing.

List Of To-Do's When Writing

  1.  Sit comfortably
  2. Turn the phone off
  3. Make a pot of coffee
  4. Drink that pot entirely
  5. Keep your feet warm. Sitting for long periods creates sub-zero temperatures in the extrementies
  6. Set an alarm incase you forget the time
  7. Have everything you need to hand. Eg: Pen, Paper, Research Material
  8. Walk the dog, feed the cat = minimising distractions
  9. Tie hair back if it's long
  10. Do not sign into Twitter or Facebook
  11. If possible, get catherterised
  12. Eat slow release energy foods for maximum alertness    

List of Don'ts When Writing

  1. Find the first seat nearest the computer just because it's easier, it usually results in finding feline sick the same colour as cushion, lying in wait
  2. Leave your phone on. You know damn well your will power is non-existant. Plus, someone you don't really want to talk to is guaranteed to call during a wave of inspiration
  3.  Dont make that pot of coffee as it will lead to Number 11 above. One cup will be more than enough
  4. I've already warned you...
  5. Forgetting arctic socks, slippers or randomn pets as warm feet survival, is writing suicide. Again - I warned you, however, the pot of coffee you shouldn't have made may come in handy for dunking frozen digits
  6. Forget to set your alarm. Can result in angry phone calls from abandoned children
  7. How many times did you get up to find your pen, paper, research material?
  8. If you didn't see to your pet-friends this could result in canine/feline mutiny. Skirting boards and the slippers you forgot to put on make an alluring substitute meal or play-thing for your neglected four-legged friends
  9. Looking like an unmanicured Yeti is fine - So long as you can see the k*yboa%.....
  10. How many notifications? Bet you haven't written a thing yet...
  11. Tena lady works equally well and doesnt compramise your dignity
  12. Eating ten bags of crisps, two chocolate bars and half a loaf of bread could lead to your manuscript becoming a diet book


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